The holidays are difficult. Living up to the expectations and obligations is a challenge no matter who you are. Gifts, parties, family, traffic, holiday shopping, planning, etc, it’s a weight even the most organized and healthy of individual finds hard to cope with.
Imagine having just come home from the war and being expected to jump right back into the hustle and bustle of a soldier’s civilian side of life. I know what you’re thinking. They’ve been in a battle zone, a Christmas party with friends and family should be nothing for them.
Have you ever heard the pop of a Champaign cork? They may register it as the pop of a weapon and take cover in front of a crowd of shocked onlookers. I’ve seen it happen and I’ve seen the absolute look of embarrassed bewilderment on his face when he realizes where he is and what he’s done.
“Aside from the fact we don’t want to be around anyone because we associate bad things happening when we’re around,” my husband said after I read him the previous paragraphs. Then he shrugged. He hates the holidays. They bring stress to an already stressed man.
There are a lot of soldiers coming home right now. They’re looking forward to something they’ve been away from for a long time and many families have built expectations that everything will be perfect and fall right back into place. It won’t be perfect. Things will go wrong and how loved ones react will make a world of difference to their returning warrior.
When he or she comes through that door remember to ease in to exposure to crowds and noise. Don’t think for a second that everything will necessarily be the same as it was before, even if you’ve already danced this deployment dance several times.
Good luck to all in having a stress free and happy holiday. And remember, people who are important will choose to understand if your plans cannot include them and people who won’t understand just aren’t important.
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