Madeline

Two years ago, on the day we moved into our house, Chris brought home a rolli-polly puppy and it’s been a struggle with this dog since then. I know, dogs are supposed to be great for vets suffering from PTSD. There are programs out there to provide trained dogs to veterans in need.

Here’s the mistake we made to keep anyone else from ending up in our boat.

A long time ago, before Chris went to Iraq, he had a beautiful boarder collie. He trained her to the point she actually put her own toys away. His patience with that dog paid off in the long run because she was amazing. Unfortunately, when he came home, the dog was gone - long drawn out story about a lousy divorce started while he was in the combat zone.

When Chris and I got together, I wanted to help him rebuild his life to what it was before PTSD. That was my mistake. We can’t go back in time and right all the wrongs and fix all the mistakes. We can only move forward to where we’re going and hope we make better choices and create happy times.
He desperately wanted a puppy. But I knew in my heart this was a bad idea. Puppies are difficult. They’re like having a small child in the house. They cause stress and mess no matter how hard you try to keep them contained. So against my better judgment I said yes and we got Madeline.

Madeline is a strong willed beautiful dog. She however is now spastic, desperate, and terrified at times of Chris. His volatile nature is something the cats couldn’t care less about, but the dog cannot cope with. I have tried to train her and she does listen to me, but with him she’s either all on or all off. Unfortunately for all of us, I’m not a dog person and he realizes now that he just doesn’t have the patience or the temperament to train a dog like he did back in the day.

She causes a terrible amount of stress in our life and though I do love her I regret getting her not only for the stress she causes, but for her as well. She somehow knows she’s dealing with a Jekyll and Hyde situation so she takes her chances with Chris as much as she can to get a positive response. Most days, things are fine. When she just doesn’t give up and keeps jumping all over him eventually he yells and she cowers. It’s become an exercise in trying to keep the dog away from Chris and still giving her the attention she needs.

It’s incredibly difficult and I think this could have been avoided had we at the very least gotten an older dog. So, this is sort of a warning to those who are trying to rebuild. If you want a dog, think long and hard, but if you have a loved one in the house who has PTSD, think longer. Make more plans. Consider everything - breed, size of your home, time you have, patience. Consider your loved one’s ability to cope with a young animal and consider your commitment to caring for the animal yourself.
We’ve made the conscious decision to keep Madeline. She is family and she is ours. We’re working through the issues and though there is still a stressful push pull we are making headway. Chris recognizes his erratic behavior, though not a problem for the cats, is hard on the dog which is hard on him in return. He’s taking a breath and not yelling at her as much. We’re teaching her hand signals so he doesn’t have control his tone as much and she’s starting understand jumping is not acceptable with anyone, but especially Chris.

It’s working but it has been a long road. Don’t make the same mistake we did.